A Salute

When I saw the headline that GM is suspending production of Hummers, I gave a cheer. But unfortunately, it’s only a temporary measure pending sale of the brand to a Chinese company. It’s bad enough that General Motors built these gas-guzzlers – and the fact that people actually bought them was even more alarming; the prospect of their continuing existence is dumbfounding.

The first Hummer I ever saw, roaming the Tucson foothills, was pre-GM, a military leftover that looked like it had to be about 10 feet wide. At first I thought, okay, whatever turns you on. But when GM decided to turn it into a family vehicle for the conspicuous-consumption crowd, I became a diehard Hummer hater. I won’t deny that people have a right to do whatever they please as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else, but these monstrosities pushed the envelope – because the fact that they waste non-renewable resources does hurt everyone else. And you wouldn’t want to be rear-ended by one.

And so every time I saw a Hummer approaching on the road, down went my window and up went my middle finger. It was the least I could do. Beth tried to reason with me, pointing out that anybody so oblivious to social norms could possibly have a gun on board, and eventually I vowed to be less confrontational. And I have to admit, on one occasion I saw in my rear view mirror that the target of my mid-digit salute had pulled off to the shoulder as if to contemplate giving chase. Either that or he was weeping over the disrespect his foolish purchase had brought him.

The Hummer debate did become a bit of a standoff. The on-line Daily Sun in Flagstaff once carried a rather heated exchange of posts between Hummer detractors and defenders. (The Sun recently revamped its web site and cleared out all this old dialogue, but you can get a small taste of it here.) It all started when some liberal type berated a Hummer owner in a parking lot in front of his little boy. Some readers said it was mean-spirited, but I say if you’re willing to make that kind of statement to society, you’ve got to be prepared to take the heat. So it became an unresolvable dispute between those readers preaching conscientiousness and those defending personal rights. Just like health care!

I recognize that there are other vehicles on the road whose mileage is just as ghastly; and the times are even a-changin’, because the other day I noticed a large van with decals announcing that it was a hybrid. But the Hummer was so in-your-face about it, it deserved the bad rap. Now that it’s going to China, aficionados will presumably still be able to get one if they have a yen for it. But it’ll serve them right if it falls apart.