A Version of Aversion

In a previous post about the appropriateness of religious imagery in advertising, I made a few suggestions for McDonald’s but neglected a necessary disclosure: I have never patronized McDonald’s in my life.

It didn’t start out as a matter of principle (as compared to my never having patronized Pizza Hut after they put up a restaurant just down the street from a little pizza shop in my hometown and drove it out of business). There just came a point where I realized I’d never been to McDonald’s and decided to keep it that way. By the time the golden arches arrived in the Philly burbs, I’d already been a fan of Gino’s, the regional fast-food burger chain. And when Burger King showed up, I was more than ready to have it my way.

But there was something about McDonald’s that made me want to stay away. Maybe it was feeling invaded – that the two all-beef patties, lettuce, cheese, etc was ripping off the already established Gino Giant (which for all I know was ripping off the Big Mac). Or maybe I had heard that walking under arches was bad luck. Or maybe it was just Ronald. Ronald was always a bit over the top. I never liked the clown heads outside of fun houses either. Creeped me out.

So I’ve managed to avoid McDonald’s, but I admit to having come dangerously close. My dad was into carving whales, and he talked a local mall-based McD with a nautical motif into buying a couple. I couldn’t not check them out, but all it took was walking in, scoping out the carvings, and walking out. And then there was the time the folks came to visit me in Tucson and I took them down to Nogales; after being unwilling to consume anything south of the border they afterward asked if I’d stop at the American-side McD so they could get coffee. I went to the drive-thru so they could satisfy their craving but like to think that I myself wasn’t patronizing the place. And since I went vegetarian around 1985, it’s not like it’s been hard. (My sole foray into the meat zone in recent memory was a Wendy’s, where I was asked if I wanted to biggie my fries. Who would have expected vocabulary enrichment at a fast food joint?)

When I recently had the occasion to get together with an old friend, he probably thought it peculiar that I balked at the suggestion of McDonald’s when it was the most convenient venue. But having gone this long, I saw no reason to break my streak. I once fancied that my tombstone could bear the epitaph “He never ate at McDonalds.” But there’s no sense in starting a list – an obelisk would be way too showy.