Mr. Nice Guy

Somebody must’ve yelled at little Sammy Alito a lot.

As the only dissenting member of the Supremes, he held that the nutjobs from Westboro Baptist didn’t have a constitutional right to stage protests at military funerals. Okay, so carrying signs reading “God Hates Fags” is a bit over the top. But there are no exceptions to free speech, Sammy. Get with the program.

Good neighbor Sam obviously belongs to the if-you-can’t-say-something-nice-don’t-say-anything-at-all school. “Our profound national commitment to free and open debate,” he wrote in his dissent, “is not a license for the vicious verbal assault that occurred in this case.” Didn’t his mommy ever teach him about sticks and stones?

(Meanwhile, Auntie Sarah invoked “common sense and decency” in criticizing the decision. Rights? Why do we need rights when we’ve got common sense?)

I would express some consternation over the Roberts court getting it right, except the 8-1 decision showed it to be pretty much a no-brainer. It’s an open-and-shut case of free speech, for framer-channeler Scalia and the ladies alike. And ol’ Clarence didn’t even need to utter a word.

But wait a minute. Back before the Bush appointees, Scalia and Thomas dissented in Lawrence v. Texas (2003), which struck down that state’s sodomy law. So maybe this new decision merely reflects the fact that the liberal justices stand up for the First Amendment – and the conservatives merely concur that God hates fags. Check to see if they’re as open to free speech the next time a flag-burning case comes up.