Eddication Nooz

A new survey of high school biology teachers reveals that only 28 percent follow established guidelines for teaching evolution – and that 13 percent advocate creationism.

That’s just swell. Apparently there are educated adults who were charmed enough by collecting bugs or watching birds to want to teach life science to students. Only problem is, they themselves apparently didn’t study biology.

But why let this concern us? I’ve recently learned that similar situations exist in other disciplines:

• 18 percent of earth/space science teachers believe the moon is made of green cheese
• 26 percent of chemistry teachers lack proper training in lighting Bunsen burners
• 43 percent of physics teachers do not know the purpose of vectors
• 27 percent of math teachers suspect that Pythagoras stole his theorem
• 14 percent of English teachers cannot quote the i-before-e rule
• 34 percent of Latin teachers don’t know the words to “Gaudeamus Igitur”
• 22 percent of French teachers have never heard of French ticklers
• 19 percent of Spanish teachers believe Cervantes was not born in Spain
• 24 percent of history teachers continue to support the theory that the earth is flat
• 57 percent of civics teachers have lied to get out of jury duty
• 17 percent of music teachers do not know the difference between sharps and flats
• 21 percent of art teachers support finger painting for the secondary curriculum
• 63 percent of shop teachers admit to hitting their thumbs with hammers
• and 92 percent of phys ed teachers believe that students enjoy gym class – the other 8 percent are just sadists