The fact that I decided to kick off this blog on Black Friday betrays the fact that I’m sitting at home writing it rather than venturing out to the mall. Truth be told, I prefer to do my shopping on-line rather than cope with crowds, and the fact that I’ll buy shoes from a web site without the certainty of trying them on attests to my aversion. Most of my wardrobe comes from L.L. Bean, and the only things I wear that would vaguely qualify as “designer” are the jeans that Lands End hems to order (which I suspect is only a strategy of inventory management). I admit that this doesn’t do a whole lot for the local economy, but the UPS guy seems to appreciate it.
But it’s a sure thing that the media will be buzzing for the next few days over whether this year’s Black Friday will be a harbinger of recovery or a specter of continuing angst. Sales data will be as eagerly anticipated as election returns. Face it, the Thanksgiving turkey has become the groundhog of the American economy.
Today is also the day when the news led off with reports of Dubai debt defaults sending ripples through international financial markets. I suppose something that immediate has understandable effects; what’s always puzzled me is the market reacting to reports of economic events in the past, such as statistics on housing or employment from the previous month. It’s history, dudes! Get over it!
On those days when it appears that the wheeler-dealers are concerned that the sky might fall, the catchphrase around our house is “Mr. Market be sad.” Granted, occasionally Mr. Market be happy; but the bottom line is, Mr. Market be fickle. And the media coverage that’s always both baffled and irritated me comes in the form of headlines and leads that report “Investors expressed concern today...,” “Investors weighed in on the bad news...,” and similar attempts to blame collapsing markets on some conspiratorial conglomerate of Investors.
Well, I’m an investor and I’m content to ride out the storm. Apparently I wasn’t invited to the decision-making conference (which for all I know was held at the mall). It’d be refreshingly honest if the media coined some new label to identify those investors who are responsible for the dramatic downturns – something to capture the spirit of those who are only in it to turn as quick a buck as possible. How about “greedmongers”? “Gekkos”? Or maybe just “fat cats,” the ones eating pheasant yesterday instead of turkey. (By the way, they won’t be at the mall today either; they’ll be at stores like Saks buying the items I see in the ads on page 3 of the NY Times challenging my credulity that people actually pay so much for pedestrian articles of clothing. I mean, really: $375 for a hoodie?)
And so I hope this Black Friday turns out well for the millions of Americans who have off today so that they can go to the mall and shop for bargains and help the pundits weigh in on the future of our economy. And for the other millions who are not off today because they’re working retail in support of this effort. And let’s not forget the millions who don’t fit into either category because they’re out of work. Or are off fighting in unwinnable wars. Or are too ill to shop because they lack health insurance....
But as for the fat cats who got us into this mess: May pheasant bones lodge in your throats. May your Saks parcels be left out in the rain. And may you have to stand in long lines at the post office to return your designer shoes. The ones I got from Bean fit just fine.
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